In higher education, a year begins in September. For alumni, it offers a mixture of nostalgia and the memory of new beginnings. College was a time of excitement and worry, emotions of anticipation.
As alumni, we have grown, changed, succeeded, failed, believed, doubted and changed again. We incorporate in all these things the joy and sorrow that visits us along the way. We had hope and ambition as we moved from our college days. Since then, we may not have done all we wanted, but these early dreams can spur us on throughout our lifetime.
Lives are changed on college campuses, this year and every year. Not every experience is positive but in their accumulation a higher education changes all of us. We know that when our life is changed others also are affected, in a growing circle of people who are integral to our life. Importantly, one never has to leave a campus because it is an idea, not merely a place. We can look backward from present circumstances that may be difficult and remember the best within us, a way of rekindling the spirit.
Importantly, one never has to leave a campus because it is an idea, not merely a place. We can look back and remember the best within us.
Recently the 40th anniversary of my arrival at Wichita State University came and went, stirring memories that are etched very deeply. They contain insights that have been of value to me in working with students over a long period of time. I offer readers three reflections that have made a difference in my life. Maybe one will resonate with you.
Never underestimate the importance of an ordinary day. I have come to understand that any one day, any one encounter, can make a difference in a life — in mine, yours, people in our immediate environment and the world beyond. I am not thinking about days of high drama, the celebrations, promotions, wedding, births and their opposites. No, I point to the ordinary days, the ones that seem indistinguishable one from the other. It is in the routine of life that our habits take shape, our reputation is established, our openness to challenge and change is developed, and our love for those closest to us is deepened.
When I am around the WSU football players who return each year to remember their teammates who died in 1970, I have come to understand that through this tragedy many of them seem to have a heightened sense of awareness about the gift of life. Last year, the university Madrigals sang You Are the New Day at the campus memorial. It expresses what many of those players seem to feel: "Like a breath I knew would come, I reach for a new day. Love of life means hope for me, borne on a new day."
Appreciate the idea of thankfulness. Being thankful may sound like just a quaint idea, but nothing could be more wrong. I regard thankfulness as belonging at the forefront of any life. It reminds us that many of our blessings have not been earned. They are, rather, connected to the people who comprise our life experience, those with us today and those who have gone beyond our reach. If we do not understand the good fortune we have had to be born at this time in history, in this bountiful nation, we may succumb to the illusion "I did it myself." Yes, we say, we have worked hard and deserve the good things that have come our way. Those less successful, well, they may not have applied themselves as effectively. Without a sense of thankfulness we may fail to remember our benefactors, the teachers, relatives, employers, colleagues and friends in our life. They represent a complex, invisible, but very real underpinning of our success. A lack of thankfulness generally is accompanied by a lack of empathy and, in truth, people in this condition live in poverty.
Don't say no too often. I have found that a lot of no behavior rests in laziness, a bureaucratic response rather than a thoughtful exploration of an idea. The principle applies equally in our personal relationships. This kind of no is discouraging, defeats initiative and leads to organizational mediocrity and personal malaise. There are too many no people in higher education to suit me. In my years of consulting on campuses across the country, supervisors often were the culprit.
Employees who used judgment and made decisions were criticized even when their ingenuity solved a problem. Most people want to respond positively, be helpful, solve problems. When they are denied these opportunities, their enthusiasm for work is adversely affected. In all hierarchies, at least from my perspective, negating an idea is readily understood if the reason for saying no is more potent than the reason for saying yes. This is far more preferable than pulling rank. I have seen how successful people get around saying no in their relationships. They find a way to recast an unrealistic idea, and while reshaping it, retain in the mind of the originator the view that the idea had merit.
In our society today, lives converge, and then very quickly we move on. Be ready, as any day can make a difference.
